Leading with L.O.V.E. gave Shenique’s athlete daughter Mia the space to shine in her sport.
"[ECP] was something we could do together, and it's what I'd been needing; coaching for the moms as well as the athletes. Because nobody checks on the parents and tells us what we're doing wrong." ."
- Shenique, swim club sports mom
Ever feel like you’re doing it all… Wrong?
Shenique was a sports mom intensely focused on results. If her swim team daughters didn't drop their time on race day, she would react in frustration, shouting from the poolside.
Unfortunately for her older daughter's swim career, that pressure from mom eventually pushed her away from the sport.
"I'm sure I contributed to that," Shenique says, “She always wanted to swim in college until she got to 12th grade, and she’d had enough of me! The stress of the meets and I yelled at her when she was racing. I was screaming my head off. And if she didn’t do well, I’m complaining and critiquing. All unsolicited advice.”
Meanwhile, younger daughter Mia had become used to the high-stress environment and didn't realize her own stress was an external pressure originating from her mom. Instead, Mia blamed herself when things didn't go right or when she struggled with situations, eroding her confidence.
"My judgment felt clouded, and I wondered why I was swimming in the first place if I'm not doing well."
"The ECP (Elite Competitor Program) has been a lifesaver."
Directed by a friend to Raising Unstoppable Girl Athletes podcast, Shenique knew after listening to just a few episodes and hearing about ECP that this was the mental training side of competitive sports she and Mia needed.
"It was something we could do together, and it's what I'd been needing; coaching for the moms as well as the athletes. Because nobody checks on the parents and tells us what we're doing wrong."
Before joining the ECP, Shenique had Mia's training plate full of private technique coaches, swim club, and schoolwork. "Mia's calendar was full," Shenique explains, "because in my head, she needed coaching for this technique and this stroke and this other coach for this stroke."
So Mia wasn't very enthusiastic when Shenique proposed joining Kristina and Breanne's Elite Competitor Program. "I didn't full-heartedly want to do it,” Mai says, “because it would be just another thing added to my schedule."
However, as they worked through the program, Shenique let go of all the extra training for Mia because she understood how powerful having a balance between mental and physical training is for a competitive athlete.
"[Coaches] would say to us swimming is 80% mental and 20% training, and I always wondered why we spend all the time on the pool and nothing on mental."
The very first meet after starting ECP, Shenique printed out a pamphlet from the program and took it with her as a reminder to be intentional about her behavior poolside.
“There's a time and place where you're going to advocate for yourself and for your daughter and have conversations, but I wasn’t having conversations. It was just me going off at the coach. I needed help. I was crying. I was yearning for help. I knew I needed something.”
“Once I was in the ECP, I realized I was *that* helicopter mom doing everything wrong."
"It was hard, but I sat back and focused on what I needed to be doing. Not yelling, not screaming, just calm, pleasant, and quiet. I needed to be quiet on the drive home and talk about anything other than the meet.”
Shenique has a chance to get it right; Mia has a chance to shine.
The first big shift Mia experienced after starting ECP was how she approached her sets in practice.
“Going into a set where I didn't do so well, I decided to leave that alone, pause there and move on to the next set instead of dwelling on it. I slowly incorporated that into my everyday training.”
Shenique has noticed the change in Mia, too, “ECP has helped her bounce back quicker. She's more confident. Now the focus is on the day-to-day, not the competition.”
Mia is also relishing the evolution of her relationship with her mom as they both grow and learn within the program. “Before the ECP,” Mia explains, “we would always talk about swimming; every single conversation at the dinner table was about swimming. I think that one of the biggest changes is we can talk about other things. Like TV shows, movies or school, or whatever else is going on.”
“[ECP] is growing our relationship as mother and daughter."
Shenique advice to other mom’s considering joining ECP with their daughter?
“I'm not trying to “sell” ECP, although I am because we need it. The information in ECP is so important; the tools are so critical. There are a lot of swim moms that are still yelling around the pool.
In swimming, I hear the moms complain a lot about money and finances, but if you don't want to invest anything, you won't get anything. It might seem like a lot for some people, but the value you get from it and the lifetime access to the information is so key. It's worth every dollar it's for us in swimming. It's the price of a tech suit. It is so worth it. Hands down, no questions asked.
Brianne, I am so grateful to you and Kristina. Grateful and happy. It's the best investment, and that's why we're gonna continue.”